Sunday, June 19, 2011

Starting Over Part One

Blog June 19, 2011

Starting Over – Part One

            Starting over is never easy and whoever says it is, is lying. Within the last three years starting over has been a common factor for me, a failed marriage started it out, then to a job that was actually a wonderful job but not entirely me. Of course lets not forget the primary fact of me getting back into a career and sport I vowed never t do again.; but yet here I am doing what I once did and finding not only the desire to do this job and sport, but finding that passion which fueled me the first time.

I will never forget December 2010, sitting in a staff meeting, listing to what was being said and feeling an empty hole inside myself. Almost like I had just lost my best friend or going through your first broken heart. I could not help but keep asking myself, over and over and over again, what the hell am I doing, what are you doing here? Then of course I would answer myself. Writer’s note: it’s okay to talk to yourself, it’s okay to answer yourself, but, if you loose the argument, that is when you really need help. I remember answering my question with something like, yes, you are helping people, but is this really how you want to do it? Aaron, what the hell are you doing? You know what you want to do, just say it; say it now!

Ah yeah, this is normally how I get my wheels into a bad situation.

It was right then in there in that staff meeting/holiday party that I realized I was going to start over yet once again. I took a deep breath, fear of the unknown racing through my brain and the strength of my parents and family inside me and the beliefs and truths they have instilled in me since I was a little boy – I am giving you my notice; it’s time for me to move on.

Being a Motivational Speaker & Life Coach, was what I really wanted and need to do. Now, I do not suggest that you follow in my footsteps, especially, how I left my former employment, as I have had and my family has had to deal with a great amount of stress because of it. However, one thing I will always take from that job is Health Realization – positive thinking is one of if not the most effective ways to be a personal success. Think positive you feel positive, thus giving you positive emotions and a positive outlook and ideas. Follow them!

Since then, I have had a great amount of incredible experiences, found passion about a sport that I had vowed never to compete again in; enough so that I have started to train for the 2012 team. Ironically, the games are in England – I know sometimes irony can be very hard to take. I have met new friends and found a network of people who have and are assisting me in taking my speaking and life coaching career to whole new levels. Starting over is a good thing; see it as a step forward you know now how to do it better this time.

I believe and follow many mantras, but my two favorites are as followed:

“You must try and do the things you think you can not do.”
      Eleanor Roosevelt –

“Life is about living, not wondering.”
      Aaron Cross –

Since January, I have sat back with a hot cup of coffee, put my earplugs in to block out sound and just sat in silence, letting my thoughts come back to me good and troubling.

During this time it occurred to me that no matter how I didn’t want it to happen, I am my father and mother’s son. I am following in their footsteps and learning from them as I go along. It then also occurred to me that yes, I am doing a lot of the same things they did and do for a living; but I have also done them with a completely different style and I have also done many things they wish they could have done or could do.

When you start over, it is a scary yet very liberating emotion, like the first time you realize your riding your bike without training wheels; or the first time you ran a algebra problem straight through without struggling. As an adult, it is the feeling when you sit down with friends and or family members at the table and someone asks you for the first time “Can I get your opinion/advise on something?” Moreover, I will never forget the feeling when my friends little girl asked if she could sit on my lap and she fell asleep in my arms. Moreover, I will never forget how it felt to see my friends from high school have their kids come up to them and say “Mom, dad, so and so is having a get together tonight and they have asked me to come over can I go?” It was so cool to know that the kids I grew up with, the very same kids who were at my side getting into – well I am not going to finish that sentence with the premise I might incriminate myself and others; but none the less, they were now guiding their children. How cool is that!

There are to many joys out there to not give yourself the chance to start over; it doesn’t have to be what I did to start over, in fact, I don’t suggest it, but do remember these two quotes:

“Life is about living, not wondering.”

“You must try and do the things you think you can not do.”

All I am saying is, take the time to refresh yourself, make sure you have your time to just start over.

The next blog is a continuation of “Starting Over, ” titled, “Shooting archery at the Paralympic level. Remembering why you stopped in the first place; yet what keeps you focusing on.”


  1. Thanks Aaron for the uplifting start to my day!

  2. really gets your deep thoughts churning! well said Aaron.